Understanding that Self-Care isn’t Selfish, But Necessary

As women, we are called to be many things to the many people in our life – mother, wife, sister, friend, someone who not only can work outside of the home but, within as well. Many of our greatest joys come from serving others, but what about serving ourselves?  What about finding time for the “me” on the list?

In our society, the term “self-care” has been popular in recent years, which is a great transition for our society to actually recognize the importance of this, to begin to understand how many ways we are pulled. Often if we don’t schedule time for ourselves, with the same attention as we would a doctor’s appointment or a class for our children, etc., we won’t make the time to refuel and fill our cups.

When I first became a mother, the idea of having my own time to myself didn’t seem possible – how could I take time away from my new baby and my family? I hardly had the time to do the things that my family required to survive our day to day lives, so how could I could I really find time to indulge in “relaxing” or doing something for myself?  The idea of going to a yoga class or taking a walk by myself or taking a bath and enjoying a good book seemed selfish and overindulgent. I felt like this was just something I couldn’t do and so I didn’t – the old “mom guilt” won out.  However, as the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, I was at my wit’s end.  I knew that I couldn’t keep living like this, I knew this wasn’t the life I envisioned for myself when I dreamed of having a family.  I started to become resentful and was losing my patience at things that I would never have before.  I wasn’t able to keep up anymore and I knew that something had to give.

For me, this was the real first step to creating the life I wanted.  The contrast of what I was living was so strong compared to what I wanted – the clarity of that couldn’t be denied.  I knew that my family deserved the best version of me.  I had become a robot simply going through the day to day tasks to keep my baby alive and content, but there was no longer any joy, no longer any real zeal for life – there wasn’t any time or energy for it.

This is when I first reached out to my intuitive coach in search of a new way of living.  How could I recreate my life into something that felt good, something that filled me up?  How could I find activities and new ways to start taking care of myself, while also taking the steps toward a life that felt authentic and purposeful?  I didn’t know then, but that was the first step in what has now been a four-year journey to get where I am today – still on my journey, but coming from a much different place, a place that feels light years away.  I feel more at ease and more like myself every day.  I still have a ways to go – but, we are never truly finishing, rather always evolving and changing.  I will dedicate this blog to the many ways in which to return to your true self.

One of my first real observations about self-care was the biggest benefits of taking time for yourself is allowing yourself the actual time and space for your mind to slow down enough to be present, — if you are looking to make a big change in the right direction for yourself, this time will help you gain more clarity about what direction to go next, what changes to make, and how to find what makes you happy again.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s